It is unquestionably shocking and scary to hear that a loved one is struggling with suicidal thoughts or ideations. Oftentimes, one might feel helpless to help someone who is feeling this way, as there is no way to know for sure that someone is doing alright, even when you ask. After all, once you discover that someone close to you is feeling suicidal, the question as to how long they have been concealing it may be difficult to hear as well. It is not uncommon for someone struggling with suicidal thoughts to not share their feelings with others out of fear of feeling like a burden or scaring loved ones. So, if someone close to you has shared these feelings with you, know that they must trust you with the dark aspects of their life; and while it is absolutely normal to be shocked, remember that, by allowing you to know about these suicidal thoughts, your loved one has taken the first step in a journey to recovery, and there are things you can do to support this person.
First, it is important to discuss your loved one’s feelings so you can understand them to the most thorough extent you can. This is in order to assess the level of danger they may pose to themselves. Ask them about their suicidal thoughts, if they have formed a plan they plan to execute, and whether they have everything they would need to carry out this plan. If they have a plan and are entirely ready to carry it out, you should call 911 as soon as you can. Moreover, it is important that you stay with the person as long as you can in order to ensure their safety. If it is clear they do not pose a current danger to themselves, start a conversation about their feelings and what may be causing them. It is important that this person feels they can let their emotions out.
Actively listen to the person about their problems for as long as they need. Ask questions and try your best to understand them. Just talking to someone about your feelings can be very cathartic, especially for a person who has kept their feelings bottled up for so long. Even if you don’t quite understand their feelings, listen and be supportive for your loved one. The most important aspect of listening is to acknowledge their feelings and to try to have empathy. Imagine what it would be like to be your loved one. This is very helpful in understanding their thoughts if they seem foreign to you.
Reassure them that these feelings are nothing to be ashamed of, and that you appreciate them sharing them with you. Tell them that suicidal ideations are often a treatable thing, and if they are comfortable with it, you can offer to help them get professional treatment. Encourage them to reach out to other loved ones as well. Make sure to stay in contact with this person frequently in order to check on them and help them feel supported.
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